Wednesday, April 14, 2010

The Best I Can

I've been off the sauce for fifteen days now (and the temptation hasn't weakened). I have seventy-one more til I leave the Emirates. I have done some exercise the last three days now - I danced on Sunday, biked and jogged on Monday -

- oh yes, I jogged...Trish had mentioned the bikes before, and since I finally had Paul's and mine both at home, I texted to ask if she wanted to go for a spin that night, and afterwards she asked if I'd come for a run with her. For anyone else, it would have been a resounding HELL NO! -

- and went for a swim last night. Not bad, right (I mean, except for the pain - OH THE PAIN - in my ankles and calves)? But when I stepped on the scale at the Hilton yesterday, I hadn't lost anything. Nothing. Now a year ago when I was trying to change, I'd get demotivated right about now - what was the point of changing if it didn't make any difference? - but giving up now isn't going to be very helpful. I've determined to make it at least until I leave the Emirates. In 71 days. For good. As in, not coming back.

If this is the first time you're hearing this, I'm sorry...neither Hallmark or had a "FYI-I'm-quitting-my-job-and-going-somewhere-new" card. What can you do? Not to worry - I have a new job. I had an interview over Skype the night I got back from Paris while I was sitting in front of my computer in a towel, dripping. Nice, right? No, I didn't have the webcam on.

Why am I leaving? It's not just because my partner-in-crime is gone, although it's no coincidence that my new school is in the same city as his. I've been caught up in a gold-sand inertia the last 8 months. I have felt like I can't really be bothered doing anything. I have a beach ten minutes away that I go to maybe twice a week. I have plenty of time to work on an illustration portfolio, but I don't actually work on it. I'm living in the middle east but I've only bothered to see belly dancing once. And for the most part, my friendships here feel more like work. How pathetic AM I?

The two people here I will miss sorely (I mean, other than my students, of course...) are Trish and Michelle. In spite of the fact that they are my two best girl friends here, I don't think I've ever mentioned them in this blog. They are amazing, and they give me the relief I need to get from one day to the next. I can't imagine what the next two and a third months would be like here without them. Probably they'd be what my first two months were like...watching X-Files and working at friendship. Which is not to say that I won't be doing those things, but it's nice to know that there's more to it than that, because I want to make these last 71 days the best I can. On all accounts.

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