Set the Wayback Machine to...2014

“Why do you go away? So that you can come back. So that you can see the place you came from with new eyes and extra colors. And the people there see you differently, too. Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving." 

I read Terry Pratchett's A Hat Full of Sky in 2006 when I was doing my short, second stint in Korea.  It ends with the above quote, and even though I wasn't planning on moving home then (and haven't really been on planning on it since), I fell in love with it, because to me, it meant that "coming back" wasn't a failure or an ending...just a new chapter.

Of course, it doesn't prepare you for how hard coming back can be, and it definitely doesn't make it easier when you leave again.  The thing is that when you see people every day, they don't seem to change much, but when you come home twice a year (or less) the little differences add up.  And while you may get used to how your parents and siblings change after one year, niblings grow up quick.  The Princess (in Mongolian mode this summer thanks to Aunt Becky the Great) turns five this fall.  Five!  I have this fear that they'll forget me before I come home again, and this is probably why I've noticed that the leaving has become increasingly difficult in the last several years.  (Not that this means I'm going to stop, Mom...)

What I mean to say with all this babbling is that my "ten-years-an-expat" countdown ends tonight back where I started - in Missouri.  I was really looking forward to coming home and seeing the family, and through email we planned to come down to Shaggy's farmhouse (it has a pool in its favor!)  The only person who couldn't make it was...Gameboy (I just realized I've never given my other brother a code name!  How lame am I?!?)...who had to work, which was a bummer, but, you know what's going to win in a battle between true family togetherness and a pool.

Once your parents become grandparents, it's all over for the spinster aunts and uncles.  Nothing you do ever was or ever will be as cute as what your niblings will do.  Luckily for me, in my family the niblings are actually as cute and smart as my mom tells her Lunch Bunch buddies, and although it's kind of weird (even after five years) to watch my parents be grandparents, it's good to know they are enjoying their retirement years.

Last spring I had one of my darling juniors (now seniors!  I'm not ready to start thinking about them graduating!!!) tell me I'd make a great mom.  Since her statement was provoked by my suggestion that she use a better pair of scissors to cut the legs off her pants, I had to laugh and tell her I make a much better aunt.  Not only because my advice was somewhat dubious (maybe she shouldn't have been cutting the legs off her pants), but because I know what great moms look like.  Exhibit A:  Abby, my sister-in-law.  Sticky floors and happy children (except without the sticky floors).  Exhibit B:  My Mom - hell, she's gotta be great if she raised me!  Finally, Exhibit C:  Babysis.  My Babysis can be - how can I put it delicately?  I probably can't, so we'll leave it at, "Takes one to know one."  That said, I pity the person who messes with Bunny.  Babysis is organized and determined, and she would do anything for Bunny.  She's also a helluva cook and gorgeous - it's a good thing I'm the older sister or I might have an inferiority complex (the size of Canada's).

All that said, in spite of how hard it is to leave them, not only do I make a better aunt, I think I like it more.  You have the lack of full-time responsibility (like a grandparent) but you're young enough to have fun with your niblings (like a parent).  It's the best of both worlds...at least until I buy Dirt Devil his first bow and arrow.

Ode to Shaggy

I couldn’t be more proud of my older brother. 

Shaggy is a character.  I mean, we all are in my family, but Shaggy is truly interesting.  When I was very little, I loved him SO much and wanted to be just like him.  When I got a little bigger, I changed my mind.  I still loved him, but he was all, “Ooh, Outdoor Survival Skills (Read: Grubs have lots of protein!),” whereas I was Ms. Artsy-Fartsy.  Also, he may or may not have gotten into trouble from time to time.

Well, things change.  The outdoorsy kid got accepted to the University of Missouri at Rolla where he was going to study engineering, but the band geek (that’s me) failed to get into UMKC’s conservatory.  I stayed at UMKC anyways, but eventually switched over to art education, which came as a surprise to pretty much no one.  He hung in at Rolla for two years, but the second year was one of the few students studying history at an engineering school.  Let’s just say it’s a much harder program when you’re in a fraternity, and leave it at that.

In spite of that, Shaggy grew up pretty well.  He came back to the Omaha area, where he started studying geology (again, this came as a surprise to pretty much no one – he was the one always lugging big rocks home from vacation) and met his wife while working for an outdoor adventure company.  He later started working for a local sporting goods store, and he turned out to be really good at what he was doing.  He’s knowledgeable and passionate about gear.  He’s really good at making connections with people, and he’s worked his way up in the sporting goods world, until he landed a really good job with a national company.  His wife just had their third child (time will tell whether or not Monkey is sweet or hornery), and during this vacation we helped them move into a big, beautiful house.  He may or may not still get in trouble once in a while, but…I mean, c’mon – who doesn’t?

If I had to guess, I'd say hornery...

The reason I’m telling you about Shaggy and not Babysis (who is also fabulously successful with a beautiful house and husband and baby) is because I’m sure it never even crossed anyone’s mind to question whether or not Babysis would make good.  She has always been focused and directed and she didn’t make all the mistakes Shaggy and I did.  She never got caught hiding under a van in a cemetery drunk or hit a utility wire with that same van, taking out power to half our town of 5,000 people (I’ll let you try to figure out which of those stories apply to which of her older siblings).  Shaggy, on the other hand, listed his aspiration for senior awards night as, “To become a mercenary.”  People didn’t always know what to make of him.

As a teacher, I have kids who don’t always know what to make of themselves.  Maybe they have an older sibling to try to live up to, or parents with unrealistic expectations.  I hope one day they can look back with hindsight’s 20/20 vision, and everything makes sense.  But until then, I would tell them:

Be who you are.  Make it work for you. 

That, at the end of the day, is the most important of all the things I’ve learned from my brother.  Although the protein value of grubs is right up there.